You Don’t Have Swine Flu

by Admin

song-chart-memes-swine-flu

There are just under 7 billion people in the world. According to Wikipedia, just over 4000 people have Swine Flu, or H1N1. That means about one out of every 1.75 million people in the world have it. That is (relatively) scientific fact. According to most people though, if you’ve seen a Mexican in the last two months, you automatically have swine flu. Obviously this can’t be true. People are just so uneducated they’ll believe anything, and this chart, which I found on GraphJam, represents that perfectly.

Now I am not a doctor, nor a professional in the field. I am just a 19-year-old kid with common sense and excellent internet searching ability. So before you start freaking out that you have swine flu just because of a cold, please read this first.

If you actually managed to get through all that, congratulations. Most of the advice given is basically common sense. Here are some of the tips given to protect yourself from becoming sick: “Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it. Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way. Try to avoid close contact with sick people.”

No joke. The site I gave you, which has basically become the highest-traffic site in the world (kidding), actually tells us those things. Really? I should cover my nose when I sneeze? My bad, I was actually just planning on sneezing in your face. Washing my hands? Psh, cleanliness is for amateurs. And avoiding contact with sick people? Damn, there go my weekend plans.

People have begun to take this way too seriously. I’m not saying its something that shouldn’t be monitored, but people need to relax. Every little flu is not Swine Flu. If you weren’t already washing your hands and avoiding sick people, then you my friend, are not very wise. If you honestly honestly think you have it, go see a doctor, even though you are most likely wasting your time.

Oh and for people that don’t know, getting Swine Flu from eating pork is virtually impossible. Its called Swine Flu because its similar to the flu pattern found in pigs, and only one case (in Calgary) actual pigs were found with the disease. Some people have begun to take this way too far. Egypt has decided to slaughter over 300,000 pigs. This comes from a country that has yet to have a reported case of the disease. And people are freaking out about traveling to/from Mexico uselessly. (Is that a word?) I’m not saying you should hop on a flight to Mexico right away (if you can find one), but you need to handle this like SARS, a much more severe disease from back in 2003. If you have been to Mexico recently, maybe you should get checked. That DOES NOT mean you should start avoiding any Mexicans like the plague (pardon the pun).

If my limited research on the topic has taught me anything, its this: use common sense. Wash your hands. And you’ll be safe from Swine Flu.

(Warning: this might not actually be true. If basic flu symptoms like headaches, diarrhea, sore throat, and runny nose, become more severe than usual, proper precautions should be taken. Even though the odds are extremely low you’ll contract Swine Flu, you should still continue to wash your hands.)

1314this-little-bastard-killed-us-all-swine-flu

Advertisements